Thursday, April 30, 2009

Kill Screen is throwing out some Snapkins!

Kill Screen was back this Wednesday to take on a new opponent, but their opponent this week was a battle that was the equivalent of two mountain smash together.  Imagine the Rocky mountain in a fight against the Himalayan mountains and that was what happened on the UCB stage on Wednesday night.  With Snapkin losing the coin toss, Kill Screen chose to go second, which mean Snapkin was up to bat.  Recently Snapkin won the 2009 Tuesday Night Thunder March Madness Tournament.  Beating out 23 other improv teams in one night, but would that be enough to beat Kill Screen.  Only 20 mins and an audience vote would be able to tell.

Snapkin quickly took us on a tour of a solo intervention, picture time, and trip to the plastic surgeon.  Their time was slowly ticking away as they came back full circle to their solo intervention and then the buzzer rang.

Next up, Kill Screen, four weeks in row they have come out swinging... swinging hard that is.  Before the audience knew Kill Screen was in the middle of a monoscene between two co-workers and one amazing burrito.  Trust me this was one big burrito.  Without a single edit Kill Screen did 20 minutes in the same scene as the same characters.

The audience voted and Kill Screen defeated yet another out standing competetitor, Snapkin.

Come see Kill Screen next Wednesday 5/6 at 11pm as they take on their next competitor, UCB harold team Swanyze.  Make your reservation now.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Kill Screen takes on The Universe!

In an epic battle The Universe took on Kill Screen: The Bonus Level, our reigning champs.  With both teams battling it out to see which team would go first, Kill Screen won the coin toss and decided to go first, which meant The Universe decided to greet their opponents european style with a double kiss.

Kill Screen: The Bonus Level was ready to take the stage with some fast pace improv, which they are known for.  Stepping in for the missing Ben Schwartz was Colton Dunn and Paul Sheer.  Kill Screen came out hitting and hitting hard, but that's how you have to play with you go up against an entire universe!  The buzzer rang after 20mins, which meant it was halftime.

After the half time break, The Universe took the stage.  Taking on the challenge of facing Kill Screen, they took on an even bigger challenge a monoscene.  The Universe slowly transformed into a family that had been torn by divorce.  This family even abrevated most words, leaving a real son feel isolated from his dad who loved his step son more and who's mom lived a compound.  In this family poetry was considered a sin.  This family lived somewhere in our own universe.

Then came the audience vote aka democracy.  The vote had been certified and sealed by the UCB Cagematch elections committee...  and still champions Kill Screen!

Make your reservations today for next's week match win Kill Screen will have to face Snapkin, the winner of TNT's March Madness Tournament.  See it all on Wednesday (4/29) at 11pm at UCB!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Shhhh, this Kill Screen is a Secret!

Last night Kill Screen (2-0), the original duo came back to the cagematch to defend their title against CIA trained Secret Squad.  Most of the time you would know these agents on the streets from anyone else, but last night they dropped their government personas and took on Kill Screen with full force.  With the Secret Squad winning the coin toss they decided to go first, which was lead by Kill Screen's greeting of a hand shake.

Secret Squad took the stage as if they were secret mission in the Balkans.  They hit the stage with full frontal laughs from the audience.  Secret Squad had came to play.  With their twenty minutes counting down, they pulled some improv magic out.  Would their secret government training be enough to beat Kill Screen?

Kill Screen, the original duo Chad Carter and Ben Schwartz, were back!  From angry latte costumers and sitting in the wrong chair, it was evident that they had reach the final Kill Screen.  They finished their set by a convict jumping inside of his lawyer and that's how Kill Screen does it.

It was an extra democratic day when the audience voted, due tax day.  Luckily no one brought tea bags, Harrison had strategically place buckets of water in non-descript locations in hope of walking away buckets of tea, but the only thing anyone was walking away with was the cagematch championship, which went to...  Kill Screen!

See Kill Screen defend their title next week on Wednesday (4/22) at 11pm against The Universe.  Make your reservations early, it has been selling out every week, don't miss you chance to get to a KILL SCREEN!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Secret Squad is taking on Kill Screen

The following is a memo that was dropped off outside the UCB LA Cagematch headquaters on April 14th. 
The following information sold to a very high bidder on the black market. what you are about to read contains sensitive information on the identities, whereabouts and status of the 7 agents known as THE SECRET SQUAD. many have died for this information, and many will still kill for it:

Scott Hayes- active, eastern Russia

Mike Carlson- active, Ukraine

Brendan McGovern- inactive, San Diego

"Jack" Allison- active, Costa Rica

Adam McCabe- active, Niger

Gian Molina- active, IO West

Matty Smith- defected - whereabouts unknown

Intel we received indicates that THE SECRET SQUAD is planning on taking down a well known and well funded international nuclear arms dealer known as KILL SCREEN a.k.a. two dudes.

the take down will occur at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre during an event called the CAGEMATCH.

this will occur at 11pm on Wednesday April 15th, 2009.

New FBI and CIA oversight under the Obama Administration requires all agents in the field to make reservations here:

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Kill Screen the Bonus Round!

Tonight Kill Screen defended their title against hockey greats D2: The Might Ducks.  Harrison started the show by playing a little keytar synthesizer.  Then out came the both teams.  The Ducks quack their way to their to the stage, but when the champs arrived on stage it was a new team, Kill Screen: Bonus Level.  With Ben Schwartz out for the night Chad brought in some heavy re-enforcers.  KS allowed the Ducks to choose who would be going first, so the Ducks decided to go second.  Now let's get this cage going.

Kill Screen took the stage as if they were already on the final level.  Going through seemless transition with Owen Burke, Eugene Cordero, and Colton Dunn dominated as skipped their way through the forest.  Even without Ben, Kill Screen defended their title to the final second.

Then D2: The Might Ducks skated on to the stage as if they were at the Goodwill games.  On a sidenote earlier in the day they were in Beverly Hills pretending to be Aaron Spelling nephews and watched models try on dresses.  They also had to adapt to the warm weather of California since they are used to the notorious cold winters of Minnesota.   With no time outs, no penatly shots, and no knuckle puck, the clock ticked to zero and The Ducks put on a great show.

Then the audience voted, the votes were counted, and winner was determined.  The winner will have to face "Secret Squad" next Wednesday April 15th at 11pm, be there to see you Champion Kill Screen take them on!  Make a reservation today.  

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

April Fools No Show Tonight!

No cagematch tonight and believe me this isn't an april fools joke.

Cagematch will return next Wednesday April 8th at 11pm.  Come see your new champions Kill Screen take on their first challengers D2: The Might Ducks.

Cya next Wednesday!